He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
