mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
