He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
