there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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