Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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