No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
