In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Randomize
