Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
