I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
