Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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