seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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