Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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