Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Randomize
