So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
