If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
