am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
