obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
