Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize