I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
