she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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