Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
