Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize