I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
