rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
