I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
