id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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