My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
