i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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