I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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