Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Are we still banned from the library?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize
