im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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