Swine flu. Run for my life!
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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