I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
