fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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