we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
