i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
