Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
