ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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