found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I think people are normalizing furries
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
