a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
