I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
