I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
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