Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
