if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Randomize
