Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
