What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize