She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
