Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize