somebody snuck up and got me drunk
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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