you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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