i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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