i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
