My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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