i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Holy shit dude........stairs
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
