The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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