im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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