well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
