NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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