So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
